The following things happened this week:
A 30 year old girl, who is a well known and liked celebrity, testified against the man accused of killing her mother, brother and nephew. The man is her sister’s husband and a person the woman has known since middle school. He has a history of jealousy and violence.
A 23 year old girl has the following interaction on an online dating site:
Him: Don’t you ever look at me. Your only job is to suck dick and cook.
Her: Wow, thats offensive. Women are more important then just making a meal and servicing you sexually!
Please don’t message me again.
Him: Whatever, baby.
A 16 year-old girl received a text message from the boy she has a crush on. The text read: “I fucked your best friend. She’s such a slut.” Same boy brags to friends that he is on a conquest “take their V’s” referring to the girls in his class. Two girls have already been an unknowing part of his plan.
There was also this.
I am PISSED OFF and you should be too! And so should those girls and the boys and all the people who know and love them.
Tomorrow people are gathering in communities all over this country because they are ANGRY, they are HURT, they are SHAMED by the way we are allowing our daughters, wives, sisters, mothers to be treated. And it is my hope that these same people (and maybe you too) feel all of those things just as passionately about the way this country continues to TOLERATE, ALLOW and even ENCOURAGE our sons, brothers, husbands, fathers to establish their identities and sense of self through violence, bravado, sexual domination and emotional detachment.
THIS IS NOT OK. WE NEED HELP.
Things that will help:
1. Feminism! There are lots of definitions (and lots of other words) but all feminist values begin with a comittment to selfhood beyond the patriarchal framework that has bound us ALL in systematically defined, binary gender roles.
2. Education! Read a fucking book, people. Go see a play, for crying out loud. Take a freaking class. There are abou a bazillion ways to learn about the world around you. Pick one you are interested one. If you have no interest, then what the fuck is the point? Why are you here?
3. Dialogue! Talk to people, even if it is just one person, when things happen. Whether it’s to you or not. And, if you think it doesn’t affect you, IT DOES. Sexism, Racism, Homophobia… It affects us all. It won’t change unless we make it change and it it can’t be real until we give it a voice. Enough problems with no names. Name it, say it, change it. It can get better.
But, mostly, more than anything else. WE NEED LOVE.
To feel it, to create it, to share it. I’m telling you, it is not that hard. In fact, loving, is the easiest thing you’ll ever do. Always.
I’ll leave you with these words of wisdom from Lady Gaga. Naturally.